HODGEPODGESPV

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Spew alert!

Thanks again to Kski!

The older we get....

ONE
Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets.
I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter.
'You don't?' I replied.
'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply.
'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?'
'That's right.'
So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets
(Unbelievable but sadly true...)
TWO
I was checking out at the local Walmart with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they
wouldn't get mixed.
After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the
'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?'
I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.'
She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left.
She had no clue to what had just happened.
THREE
A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was
shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.'
(keep shuddering!!)
FOUR
I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
'Do you need some help?' I asked.
She replied, 'I knew I should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would
have a battery to fit this?'
'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked.
'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and
check about the batteries. It's a long walk....'
PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!!
FIVE
Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?'
'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five
'blank' copies.
Brunette, by the way!!
SIX
A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant
killer......'
Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!'
Life is tough.
It's even tougher if you're Over 60!

Someone had to remind me, so I'm reminding you too. Don't laugh.....it is all true...

Perks of reaching over 60 and heading towards 70!
01. Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
02. In a hostage situation you are likely to be released first.
03. No one expects you to run--anywhere.
04. People call at 9 PM and ask,"did I wake you?"
05. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
06. There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
07. Things you buy now won't wear out.
08. You can eat supper at 4 PM.
09. You can live without sex but not your glasses.
10. You get into heated arguments about pension plans
11. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge.

12. You quit trying to hold your stomach in no matter who walks into the room.
13. You sing along with elevator music.
14. Your eyes won't get much worse.
15. Your investment in health insurance is finally beginning to pay off.
16. Your joints are more accurate meteorologists than the national weather
service.
17. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
18. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size.
19. You can't remember who sent you this list.
20. And you noticethese are all in Big Print for your convenience.
Forward this to every one you can remember right now!
Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night!

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Knitters may appreciated this more than others

The highway patrolman couldn’t believe his eyes as he saw an elderly woman whiz past him, busily knitting as she drove. Quickly he pulled up beside her vehicle and shouted, “Pull over!” “No,” she replied. “Socks!"

Monday, May 31, 2010

The most beautiful functional gift I've ever gotten

cable needle
Originally uploaded by spvaughan

Wednesday Wickedness

WEDNESDAY, MAY 26, 2010 Yes, i know i am late but it looked like fun!

Simon Cowell

Hi and welcome to our brand new Wednesday Wickedness. We are like other memes in that we will ask you ten questions each and every Wednesday. But our little "twist" is that each week we will pick a famous person and pick ten of their quotes. Each of our questions will be based on the quotes. Got it? Great! Let's begin this week's meme!

Today we picked Simon Cowell. Here's Wednesday Wickedness!1. “If your lifeguard duties were as good as your singing, a lot of people would be drowning.” How well do you swim? CAN YOU SAY BLUP BLUP BLUP?2. “I think he knows how to articulate something that people are entertained by and still be true to the message he's trying to send, ... very aware of himself.” How self aware do you think you are? WE HAVE BEEN INTRODUCED, ME, MYSELF, AND I.3. “If you've got a big mouth and you're controversial, you're going to get attention.” Who has a big mouth that you like? ORCA WHALES4. “I think you have to judge everything based on your personal taste. And if that means being critical, so be it. I hate political correctness. I absolutely loathe it.” Do you believe in political correctness? WITH THE WAY PEOPLE KEEP POINTING IT OUT, HOW CAN YOU NOT BELIEVE IN IT. I HAVE BEEN KNOW TO BE CRITIQUED FOR NOT USING IT.5. “I find Paula patronizing. It's as simple as that. Paula is more damaging than I am to these contestants because a lot of people just shouldn't be singing for a living.” Do you ever patronize people? NO, BUT LOTS OF STORES.6. “Not everybody is perfect, and I don't think we should be looking for perfect people.” Do you or someone you know strive constantly to be perfect? MY SISTER, POOR BABY!7. “I never want to hear that song again. I cannot stand it. I'm allergic to it.” What song are you totally sick of and why? LUCKILY I AM OLD AND SO IT HAS PASSED OUT EVERYONES PLAY LIST.8. “I like the fact that they're cocky now from the age of four.” How old were you when you got cocky? What changed to make you so? PROBABLY AFTER COLLEGE WITH I REALIZED THAT LIGHTENING WOULD NOT STRIKE ME FOR SO MANY THING.9. “And there's more open hostility among them because the competition is so intense.” When you compete with someone, have you ever gotten hostile? NO, I FIGURE MY ODDS ARE THAT I WILL WIN OR LOSE AS THAT IS PART OF THE GAME.10. “Why are you having a normal conversation with him? This is a dairy farmer dressed as a woman.” Do you talk differently to someone because of the way that they are dressed? HECK NO! YOU COULD MISS SO MUCH.
Thanks for checking out our Wednesday craziness. We hope you join us again. Please visit our other player's posts and make a comment. Join us next week for our next meme.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

What a lovely two days

With lots of sleep. Puzzle playing too! great fun! What did you do?

Monday Mayhem

Let's Get Random

[ Sunday, May 30, 2010 | 0 comments ]

Welcome to Monday Mayhem.This week's meme features random questions that make no sense. Simply answer the questions the best way that you want to. Have fun!
1. What animal in your opinion is the stupidest animal alive? MAN
2. What person in the news or spotlight makes you wonder how they got so far? SARAH PALEN
3. If you could make up a new law and be in charge of arresting law breakers, what would that law be? IF CONVECTED, THEY MUST REPAY EVERY PENNY!
4. Name something of the color blue that you despise. SORRY, I LOVE ALL COLORS! THERE IS NONE I DISLIKE.
5. If you were on your way somewhere and were running late and witnessed an accident, what would you do? STOP, SEE WHAT I CAN DO IF ONLY TO CALL FOR EMERGENCY HELP!
6. How tall is too tall and how short is too short in your opinion? NO SUCH THINK...BOTH AVE VALUE!
7. What hair color and/eye color would you not want in someone you were planning on having children with? I COULD CARE LESS! I AM NOT INTO DESIGNER KIDS OR CHOOSING A HUSBAND FOR SOMETHING SO SILLY!
8. What hour of the day has the worst drivers? MORNING AND EVENING, BOTH ARE AWFUL!
9. Are you following the Stanley Cup Finals? NO

10. If you wanted to eat lunch at the zoo and all they served were animal parts, would you eat them? YES...I ALWAYS LIKE HOTDOGS AT THE ZOO.
11. Would you give, and if so how much, money to a 25 year old man holding a sign at an intersection that asks for money? NO AND $0.
12. What do you do with emails that tell you to forward them on to 10 other people or something will happen to you? TRASH THEM! AND TRY TO LET THE PESON WHO SENT IT TO ME TO TAKE ME OFF THAT LIST!
Thanks for playing!
See you next week!

Sunday Stealing

The Just Because Meme

Welcome back to Sunday Stealing. Sunday Stealing originated on WTIT: The Blog authored by Bud Weiser. Here we will steal all types of memes from every corner of the blogosphere. Our promise to you is that we will work hard to find the most interesting and intelligent memes. You may have heard of the expression, “honor amongst thieves”. In that age-old tradition, we also have our rules. First, we always credit the blog that we stole it from and we will “fess up” to the blog owner where we stole the meme. We also provide a link to the victim's post. (It's our way of saying "Thanks!") We do sometimes edit the original meme, usually to make it more relevant to our global players, to challenge our players, sometimes to select that meme's best questions, or simply to make it less repetitive from either this new meme or recently asked questions from a prior featured meme. Let's go!

Today we ripped this meme of a blogger known as Demonaduerre from the blog Because I Still Love You. He does not remember where he grabbed it. But it was probably stolen there as well. So, of course, that will be as far as we go. Tracing back our theft's thieves might take some time. Link back to us at Sunday Stealing!
Cheers to all of us thieves!
Sunday Stealing: The Just Because Meme
1. Make a list of 5 things you can see without getting up.

DH, Oscar Wild, TV, picture of my dad. and books
2. How do you style your hair? How often do you cut it? With a brush. When it gets long enough to donate to Locks of Love.
3. What are you wearing now? A night shirt and blanket.
4. What's your occupation? Do you like it? A retired person. I like it a lot!
5. When was the last time that you took a nap? Was there a special reason? Today....yes, because I needed sleep after having been up over 24 hours.
6. Who was the last person you hugged romantically? The guy in bed with me!
8. What was the last full meal that you ate? Peanut butter sandwich.
9. What was the last email that you received? Don't know, haven't checked it in 2 days.
10. What one website do you always visit when you go online? Yahoo...except for the last 2 days.
11. What was the last significant thing you bought? 2 Accessories for my Kindle.
12. What musical artist did you not get at first, but then became a fan? Tiny Tim.
13. What do you think about before you go to bed last night? How my chapters will hear and remember before I fall asleep?
14. What was the last CD you bought? A recorded book by Michelle Moran.
15. What is your favorite weather, and why? What's the weather like today? I like all kinds weather. I love riding bikes and walking in the rain...except when the air is green!
16. If you could have a special artistic talent, what would it be? A painter of landscapes, seacapes and flowers!
17. Did you watch the Idol 9 finale? If yes, what are your thoughts? NO.
18. What's something you'd like to say to someone right now? TO late, I already told him!
19. Any special plans for this (holiday in the States) weekend? Stay inside in the cool and avoid all the crazy shoppers.
20. Besides your current S/O, who was the last person that you loved romantically? Too long ago. This one has kept in interested for over 20 years.
Thank you for playing this week on Sunday Stealing!Please leave a comment or link when you have posted. Feel free to stop back and visit other player’s posts. Have a great week. See you next Sunday!

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Why are my eyeballs still in my head?

I have been up well over 24 hours. I started working on cleaning up my Ancestry.com file. And then the AC went out....North Texas without AC...pant, pant! Even if I had wanted to sleep, the heat was not going to let me get comfortable. Ancestry kept me occupied. This afternoon, DH (the mechanical engineer) fixed the AC! I thought I would take a nap....but then I was afraid I would wake up and not be able to go to sleep at a reasonable time. So Ancestry and I worked on and on and on.

Do I have it all fixed?

NONONONONONONONO!

Rats! Every time I think I am close, there I go off on a trail of a family line and the next thing I know, I am lost again!

It's frustrating but so much fun at the same time...like why did one of my relatives roam around Texas with a passel of kids?

Why did another change their last name?

Well, the clock on the wall says to close it down and go to sleep without even checking my mail or FaceBook or even Twitter.

Pick your jaws back up and stop laughing at me!

'night all!

Saturday: 9

Midnight Confessions

Welcome to Saturday: 9. What we've committed to our readers is that we will post 9 questions every Saturday. Sometimes the post will have a theme, and at other times the questions will be totally unrelated. Those weeks we do "random questions," so-to-speak. We encourage you to visit other participants posts and leave a comment. Because we don't have any rules, it is your choice. We hate rules. We love memes, however, and here is today's meme!
Saturday 9: Midnight Confessions

1. Have you ever had to confess something to a lover or friend? HASN'T EVERYONE?

2. How well do you handle rejection? BETTER THAN SOME, BUT NOT AS WELL AS OTHERS.

3. What makes you feel old? THE MIRROR

4. What makes you feel young? MY PUPPY DOG AND I SINGING TOGETHER

5. What’s something you are old school about? NOT CHEATING AT GAMES.

6. What TV show's seasons would you buy on DVD? Tell us why it rocks. SORRY BUT I NEED MY MONEY FOR OTHER STUFF! ALL TV SHOWS WITH EVENTUALLY BE RECYCLED.

7. If you could create your own TV channel, what would it be? PROGRAMING WOULD BE BASED ON MY FAVORITE HISTORICAL NOVELS.

8. Where do you like to go for a day trip? THE TEXAS HILL COUNTRY

9. Name some things that you still want to do in your life. READ LOTS OF BOOKS, TAKE LOTS OF PICTURES. TRY MY HAND AT PAINTING, AND THEN THERE IS KNITTING AND CROCHETING...SO MUCH~
Thanks so much for joining us again at Saturday: 9. As always, feel free to come back, see who has participated and comment on their posts. In fact sometimes, if you want to read & comment on everyone's responses, you might want to check back again tomorrow. But it is not a rule. We haven’t any rules here. Join us on next Saturday for another version of Saturday: 9 Enjoy your weekend!

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

A picture is worth a thousand words.

Monday, May 24, 2010

Fun time!

O I do so hope this works! As one who has met many gas passers, I found this hysterical!

Monday Mayhem

Welcome to Monday Mayhem.
Today's meme is "Gimme your best response".
For each of the prompts, provide us with your best answer.
Don't forget to visit the other participants.

You know those people who are always telling you how and what to do?
We want to be prepared for the next time they provide us with their fine interventions.
Have fun!

1. Are you putting on weight? You face looks fat. O, no, it's just the mumps...you probably had them as a kid...no...sorry about that hug.

2. You should wash your clothes in the expensive detergent. What you are using is not working. Honey, these are supposed to be grey...grey is the new black!

3. Are you sure you should be eating that piece of cake? Yes, my blood sugar is so low that if I don't eat this I will pass out and you will have to take me to the hospital!

4. You shouldn't be friends with that person. Funny, and she said such nice things about you.

5. That shirt is not the right color for you. Giggle, don't we both have fun doing things that are against the rules.

6. Why would you work at that crappy job? Isn't it lucky that we disagree on this, otherwise we might be competing against each other.

7. You're not cutting your steak correctly. This is how you should be doing it. Honey child, as long as it gets into my mouth, I don't care what is right or wrong. But if you don't want your finger cut incorrectly, keep you hands and utensils way from my steak!

8. Is that all you do all day is sit on your computer? No, I sit in front of it! I could not excise my brain if all I did was sit on it! Maybe that's your problem.

9. You should use Pledge on the dust in your house. HMMM, probably a cloth would be as effective.

10. When are you going to get married/have kids/get divorced (choose which one relates to you)? The 12th of never, I want to be unique.

11. I'm thinking about staying at your house for 2 weeks for my vacation. Guess again, Gunga Din!

12. When you are at the store will you get me 2 pounds of bananas and some bread? Oh, and here is some money so you can buy my mother some eggs, prunes and Depends. I'll need separate receipts of course. And someone else to be your shopper!

Thanks for playing! Have a great week!

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Saturday: 9

Upside Down

Welcome to Saturday: 9. What we've committed to our readers is that we will post 9 questions every Saturday. Sometimes the post will have a theme, and at other times the questions will be totally unrelated. Those weeks we do "random questions," so-to-speak. We encourage you to visit other participants posts and leave a comment. Because we don't have any rules, it is your choice. We hate rules. We love memes, however, and here is today's meme!
Saturday 9: Upside Down

1. When was the last time that you felt your world got turned upside down? YESTERDAY...WE HAD TO PUT MY DOG TO SLEEP.

2. Should the United States do more to help its own citizens before helping people in other countries? YES

3. What was something you memorized for school and still can recall? POEM: I'M HIDDING

4. With what types of people do you tend to associate? NICE PEOPLE

5. Besides blogging what is the last creative thing that you've done? PROBABLY LINKING UP PEOPLE IN A FAMILY TREE.

6. In nature, what outdoor activities do you enjoy the most? TAKING PICTURES.

7. When was the last time that you had a great belly laugh? EARLY THIS WEEK

8. What kind of fashion-sense attracts you? NOT HAVING ANY, I HAVE NO ATTACTION.

9. What traits in others turn you off? RUDENESS FOR NO REASON.
Thanks so much for joining us again at Saturday: 9. As always, feel free to come back, see who has participated and comment on their posts. In fact sometimes, if you want to read & comment on everyone's responses, you might want to check back again tomorrow. But it is not a rule. We haven’t any rules here. Join us on next Saturday for another version of Saturday: 9, "Just A Silly Meme on a Saturday!" Enjoy your weekend!

Friday, May 21, 2010

Goodbye my lovely

The pictures are of our Mystery Puppy who left us about 12 hours ago. We had the choice of doing it last evening or try keeping her going for a couple of days. I've been there with kidney pain and it is horrible. She could not even give a last wag. I know it was hard but we had to be responsible and let her go in peace. So the pictures below are of our beloved Mystery Puppy.