Friday, November 27, 2009

Saturday 9


Saturday 9: Leaving on a Jet Plane


1. When was the last time you jetted away for the holidays?
another lifetime.

2. What is your fondest birthday memory?
my 11th ... playland park and a car demolution derby

3. What names do you go by?
Sandy... others are between my dh and me

4. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks?
survival

5. Where is your least favorite place to be, and why?
the dentist chair because i was brought up with army dentists!

6. Have you ever had a scary stalker type?
no

7. What is your favorite holiday tradition?
not to celebrate it if possible (dh is not into it)

8. What are two activities you do after eating Thanksgiving Dinner?
watch ice skating and drink hot chocolate

9. What did your family do for Thanksgiving when you were a kid? Do you still do it? If not explain why.
eat and watch football. no, darling husband is not from this country.

Thanks so much for joining us again at
Saturday: 9. As always, feel free to come back, see who has participated and comment on their posts. In fact sometimes, if you want to read & comment on everyone's responses, you might want to check back again tomorrow. But it is not a rule. We haven’t any rules here. Join us on next Saturday for another version of Saturday: 9, "Just A Silly Meme on a Saturday!" Enjoy your weekend!

Time to laugh

The following have been sent to me and I thought you might enjoy:

The Old Rancher

The banker saw his old friend Tom, an eighty-year old rancher, in town.


Tom had lost his wife a year or so before and rumor had it that he was marrying a 'mail order' bride.


Being a good friend, the banker asked Tom if the rumor was true.


Tom assured him that it was.


The banker then asked Tom the age of his new
bride to be.


Tom proudly said, 'She'll be twenty-one in November.'

Now the banker, being the wise man that he was, could see that the sexual appetite of a young woman could not be satisfied by an eighty-year-old man.

Wanting his old friend's remaining years to be happy the banker tactfully suggested that Tom should consider getting a hired hand to help him out on the ranch, knowing nature would take its own course.


Tom thought this was a good idea and said he would look for one that afternoon.

About four months later, the banker ran into Tom in town again. 'How's the new wife?', asked the banker.

Tom proudly said, 'Good - she's pregnant.'

The banker, happy that his sage advice had worked out, continued, 'And how's the hired hand?'

Without hesitating, Tom said, 'She's pregnant too.'

Don't ever underestimate us old Guys.
The Why's of Men

1. WHY DO MEN BECOME SMARTER DURING SEX?

(because they are plugged into a genius)

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2. WHY DON'T WOMEN BLINK DURING SEX?

(they don't have enough time)

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3. WHY DOES IT TAKE 1 MILLION SPERM TO FERTILIZE ONE EGG?

(they don't stop to ask directions)

------------------------------

4. WHY DO MEN SNORE WHEN THEY LIE ON THEIR BACKS?

(because their balls fall over their butt-hole and they vapor lock)

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(You're laughing, aren't you?!?!)

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5. WHY WERE MEN GIVEN LARGER BRAINS THAN DOGS?

(so they won't hump women's legs at cocktails parties)

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6. WHY DID GOD MAKE MEN BEFORE WOMEN?

(you need a rough draft before you make a final copy)

------------------------------

7. HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO PUT A TOILET SEAT DOWN?

(don't know.....it never happened)

------------------------------

(C'mon guys, we laugh at your blonde jokes!)

------------------------------

And the personal favorite:

8. WHY DID GOD PUT MEN ON EARTH?

(because a vibrator can't mow the lawn)
or make a braai
------------------------------

Remember, if you haven't got a smile on your face and
laughter in your heart...
Then you are just an old sour fart
!
------------------------------

One for the ladies........

One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his sweatshirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me,
'What setting do I use on the washing machine?'
'It depends,' I replied. 'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' University of Oklahoma ..'

And they say blondes are dumb.

----------------------------

A couple is lying in bed.
The man says,
'I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world.'
The woman replies,
'I'll miss you...'

---------------------------

'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,' Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'
'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.

---------------------------

Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A: A rumor

---------------------------

Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to death...
AMEN

----------------------------
Q: Why do little boys whine?

A: They are practicing to be men.

----------------------------

Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough

---------------------------

Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail?
A: Rename the mail folder 'Instruction Manual.'
****
Deep within a forest a little turtle began to climb a tree. After hours of effort he reached the top, jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground. After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts. Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it's time to tell him he's adopted."

Book Review: Supreme Courtship (Audio)

Narrated by Anne Heche

Publisher's Summary

President of the United States Donald Vanderdamp is having a hell of a time getting his nominees appointed to the Supreme Court. After one nominee is rejected for insufficiently appreciating To Kill A Mockingbird, the president chooses someone so beloved by voters that the Senate won't have the guts to reject her - Judge Pepper Cartwright, the star of the nation's most popular reality show, Courtroom Six.

Will Pepper, a straight-talking Texan, survive a confirmation battle in the Senate? Will becoming one of the most powerful women in the world ruin her love life? And even if she can make it to the Supreme Court, how will she get along with her eight highly skeptical colleagues, including a floundering Chief Justice who, after legalizing gay marriage, learns that his wife has left him for another woman?

Soon, Pepper finds herself in the middle of a constitutional crisis, a presidential reelection campaign that the president is determined to lose, and oral arguments of a romantic nature. Supreme Courtship is another classic Christopher Buckley comedy about the Washington institutions most deserving of ridicule.

©2008 Christopher Taylor Buckley; (P)2008 Hachette Audio

My thoughts

Anne Heche does a very good job of reading this novel. I do have to warn you that drinking and listening can be hazardous to things and people around you.

Why?

It is called "spew alert"! We have had to back it up several times as we were laughing to hard to hear what she was saying. Oh, maybe you shouldn't drive and listen to this either.

Who would I recommend this audio book to?

People who like satire. People who like to laugh. People who need to laugh. Ok, ok, EVERYBODY SHOULD READ THIS BOOK OR LISTEN TO IT! It's really good.

This is one of my Audio.com choices.