Monday Mayhem

Welcome to Monday Mayhem.
Today's meme is "Gimme your best response".
For each of the prompts, provide us with your best answer.
Don't forget to visit the other participants.

You know those people who are always telling you how and what to do?
We want to be prepared for the next time they provide us with their fine interventions.
Have fun!

1. Are you putting on weight? You face looks fat.  O, no, it's just the mumps...you probably had them as a kid...no...sorry about that hug.

2. You should wash your clothes in the expensive detergent. What you are using is not working. Honey, these are supposed to be grey...grey is the new black!

3. Are you sure you should be eating that piece of cake?  Yes, my blood sugar is so low that if I don't eat this I will pass out and you will have to take me to the hospital!

4. You shouldn't be friends with that person.  Funny, and she said such nice things about you.

5. That shirt is not the right color for you.  Giggle, don't we both have fun doing things that are against the rules.

6. Why would you work at that crappy job?  Isn't it lucky that we disagree on this, otherwise we might be competing against each other.

7. You're not cutting your steak correctly. This is how you should be doing it.  Honey child, as long as it gets into my mouth, I don't care what is right or wrong. But if you don't want your finger cut incorrectly, keep you hands and utensils way from my steak!

8. Is that all you do all day is sit on your computer?  No, I sit in front of it! I could not excise my brain if all I did was sit on it! Maybe that's your problem.

9. You should use Pledge on the dust in your house. HMMM, probably a cloth would be as effective.

10. When are you going to get married/have kids/get divorced (choose which one relates to you)?  The 12th of never, I want to be unique.

11. I'm thinking about staying at your house for 2 weeks for my vacation.  Guess again, Gunga Din!

12. When you are at the store will you get me 2 pounds of bananas and some bread? Oh, and here is some money so you can buy my mother some eggs, prunes and Depends. I'll need separate receipts of course.  And someone else to be your shopper!

Thanks for playing! Have a great week!