Y E A H

Snowing like all buggery in the Dallas/Fort Worth area! Those beautiful fat snow flakes are racing to the ground!

Testing, 1, 2, 3, 4, Testing

SEMI-OLD PEOPLE'S MEMORY TEST

This is not a pushover test. There are 20 questions. Average score is 12.  This one will be very difficult for the younger set Have fun, but no peeking!  

1. What builds strong bodies 12 ways?

A. Flintstones vitamins 
B. The Buttmaster 
C. Spaghetti 
D Wonder Bread
E. OrangeJuice 
F. Milk 
G. Cod Liver Oil

2. Before he was Muhammed Ali, he was...

A. Sugar Ray Robinson 
B. Roy Orbison
C. Gene Autry 
D. Rudolph Valentino 
E. Fabian 
F. Mickey Mantle 
G. Cassius Clay

3. Pogo, the comic strip character said, 'We have met the enemy and..

A. It's you 
B. He is us 
C. It's the Grinch 
D. He wasn't home 
E. He's really me an 
F. We quit 
G. He surrendered

4. Good night David.

A. Good night Chet 
B. Sleep well 
C. Good night Irene 
D. Good night Gracie 
E. See you later alligator 
F. Until tomorrow 
G. Good night Steve

5. You'll wonder where the yellow went...

A. When you use Tide 
B. When you lose your crayons 
C. When you clean your tub 
D. If you paint the room blue 
E. If you buy a soft water tank 
F. When you use Lady Clairol 
G. When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent

6. Before he was the Skipper's Little Buddy, Bob Denver was Dobie's friend...

A. Stuart Whitman 
B. Randolph Scott 
C. Steve Reeves 
D. Maynard G Krebbs 
E. Corky B. Dork 
F. Dave the Whale 
G. Zippy Zoo

7. Liar, liar.

A. You're a liar 
B. Your nose is growing 
C. Pants on fire 
D. Join the choir 
E. Jump up higher 
F. On the wire 
G. I'm telling Mom

8. Meanwhile, back in Metropolis, Superman fights a never ending battle for truth, justice and...

A. Wheaties 
B. Lois Lane 
C. TV ratings 
D. World peace 
E. Red tights 
F.. The American way 
G. News headlines

9. Hey kids!  What time is it?

A. It's time for Yogi Bear 
B. It's time to do your homework 
C. It's Howdy Doody Time 
D. It's Time for Romper Room 
E. It's bedtime 
F. The Mighty Mouse Hour 
G. Scoopy Doo Time

10. Lions and tigers and bears...

A. Yikes 
B. Oh no 
C. Gee whiz 
D. I'm scared 
E. Oh my 
F. Help! Help! 
G. Let's run

11. Bob Dylan advised us never to trust anyone...

A. Over 40 
B.. Wearing a uniform 
C. Carrying a briefcase 
D. Over 30 
E. You don't know 
F. Who says, 'Trust me' 
G. Who eats tofu

 

12. NFL quarterback who appeared in a television commercial wearing women's stockings...

A. Troy Aikman 
B. Kenny Stabler 
C. Joe Namath 
D. Roger Stauback 
E. Joe Montana 
F Steve Young 
G. John Elway

13. Brylcream.

A. Smear it on 
B. You'll smell great 
C. Tame that cowlick 
D. Grease ball heaven 
E. It's a dream 
F. We're your team 
G. A little dab'll do ya

14. I found my thrill...

A. In Blueberry muffins 
B. With my man, Bill 
C. Down at the mill 
D. Over the windowsill 
E. With thyme and dill 
F. Too late to enjoy 
G. On Blueberry Hill

15. Before Robin Williams, Peter Pan was played by...

A. Clark  Gable 
B. Mary Martin 
C. Doris Day 
D. Errol Flynn 
E. Sally Fields 
F. Jim Carey 
G.Jay Leno

16. Name the Beatles....

A. John, Steve, George, Ringo 
B. John, Paul, George, Roscoe 
C. John, Paul, Stacey, Ringo 
D. Jay, Paul, George, Ringo 
E. Lewis, Peter, George, Ringo 
F. Jason, Betty, Skipper, Hazel 
G. John, Paul, George, Ringo

 

17. I wonder, wonder, who..

A. Who ate the leftovers? 
B. Who did the laundry? 
C. Was it you? 
D. Who wrote the book of love? 
E. Who I am? 
F Passed the test? 
G. Knocked on the door?

 

18. I'm strong to the finish...

A. Cause I eats my broccoli 
B. Cause I eats me spinach 
C. Cause I lift weights 
D. Cause I'm the hero 
E. And don't you forget it 
F. Cause Olive Oyl loves me 
G. To outlast Bruto

 

19.. When it's least expected, you're elected, you're the star today..

A. Smile, you're on Candid Camera 
B. Smile, you're on Star Search 
C. Smile, you won the lottery 
D. Smile, we're watching you 
E. Smile, the world sees you 
F. Smile, you're a hit 
G. Smile, you're on TV

 

20. What do M&M's do?

A. Make your tummy happy 
B. Melt in your mouth, not in your pocket 
C. Make you fat 
D. Melt your heart 
E. Make you popular 
F. Melt in your mouth, not in your hand 
G. Come in colors

 

Below are the right answers:

1. D - Wonder Bread 
2. G - Cassius Clay 
3. B - He Is Us 
4. A - Good night, Chet 
5. G - When you brush your teeth with Pepsodent 
6. D - Maynard G. Krebbs 
7. C - Pants On Fire 
8. F - The  American Way  
9. C - It's Howdy Doody Time 
10. E - Oh My 
11. D - Over 30 
12. C - Joe Namath 
13. G - A little dab'll do ya 
14. G - On Blueberry Hill 
15. B - Mary Martin 
16. G - John, Paul, George, Ringo 
17. D - Who wrote the book of Love 
18. B - Cause I eats me spinach 
19. A - Smile, you're on Candid Camera 
20. F - Melt In Your Mouth Not In Your Hand

So I scored 100...kski, you started this! Does this make me an antique?

Spew Alert

Ok, still reading and not writing but kski sent me another one to share...it's a bit naughty so think before reading after the first one~

PENSION SEX
  

Two men were talking. 'So, how's your sex life?'
'Oh, nothing special. I'm having Pension sex.'
'Pension sex?'
 'Yeah, you know; I get a little each month, but not enough to live on!'
_____ 

LOUD SEX
 

A wife went in to see a therapist and said,

'I've got a big problem, doctor.
Every time we're in bed and my husband climaxes,
He lets out this ear splitting yell.'
'My dear,' the shrink said, 'that's completely natural.
I don't see what the problem is.'
'The problem is,' she complained, 'it wakes me up!'
_____
 

QUIET SEX
 

Tired of a listless sex life, the man came right out and asked his wife
During a recent lovemaking session,

'How come you never tell me when you have an orgasm?'
She glanced at him and replied, 'You're never home!'
_____
 

CONFOUNDED SEX
 

A man was in a terrible accident, and his 'manhood' was mangled and torn from
his body. His doctor assured him that modern medicine could give him back his

manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the surgery since it was
 considered cosmetic.
 

The doctor said the cost would be $3,500 for 'small,
$6,500 for 'medium, and $14,000 for 'large.'
 

The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but the doctor urged him
To talk it over with his wife before he made any decision.
The man called his wife on the phone and explained their options.
The doctor came back into the room, and found the man looking dejected.
 

'Well, what have the two of you decided?' asked the doctor.
She'd rather remodel the kitchen.'
_____
 

WEDDING ANNIVERSARY SEX
 

A husband and his wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their
40th wedding anniversary The husband yelled, 'When you die, I'm getting
You a headstone that reads:
'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever'.'
'Yeah,' she replies, 'when you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads:
'Here Lies My Husband - Stiff At Last.' '
_____
 

WOMEN'S HUMOROUS SEX
 

My husband came home with a tube of K Y jelly and said,
'This will make you happy tonight.'
He was right. When he went out of the bedroom,
I squirted it all over the doorknobs.
He couldn't get back in.
_____
 

ELDERLY SEX
  

One night, an 87 year-old woman came home from Bingo and found
Her 92 year-old husband in bed with another woman.
She became violent and ended up pushing him off the balcony
Of their 20th floor, assisted living apartment, killing him instantly.
Brought before the court on the charge of murder,
The judge asked her if she had anything to say in her defense.
 She began coolly, 'Yes, your honor. I figured that at 92, if he could have sex...

He could also fly.'

No eating or drinking while reading the following

I HATE INSURANCE COMPANIES....THEY CAN CONFUSE EVEN 2 COLLEGE GRADS!

Ok, now that I have released that tantrum, here's the fun part:

To Be 6 Again!   A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his  wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to  have for her birthday. 'I'd like to be six again', she replied, still looking in the mirror . On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He p ut her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was. Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake. Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite  candy,  M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!  Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed  exhausted.   He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being six  again?' Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.  'I meant my dress size, you f---ing retard!!!!' The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna  get it wrong.

Hiding out in Argentina?

No.

So where have I been?  Right here. Why so quite? I've been unwell physically and mentally.. Also, my mom, who is soon to turn 92 has been diagnosed cancer and is undergoing chemo.

But I have been escaping in books and need to write up a huge bunch of reviews. But not tonight.

I am (and have been for a week) fighting with people about bills and insurance and other stuff.  (It's enough to pull one's hair out!)

O, I also need to knit a prayer shawl and hat for mom (her hair is falling out....she wants it to come back in red but   it's not likely and I can't afford to get her a wig.)

I have some funnies for you too.

The Pillars of the Earth

The Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett

My rating: 5 of 5 stars


This was an audio book (I brought in from Audible.com). It is very long but is a great listen. Lots of good history about the time.

I would try to only listen to a bit before going to sleep but ended up listening longer than I should.

The reader was good!

I loved all the recurring characters as well as the known ones like Thomas Becket.

Does everyone get their "just deserts? Mostly.

I will probably listen to it again.