SOMETHING TO PONDER: George Carlin George Carlin's wife died early in 2008 and George followed her, dying in July 2008. It is ironic George Carlin - comedian of the 70's and 80's - could write something so very eloquent and so very appropriate. An observation by George Carlin: The paradox of our time in history is that we have taller buildings but shorter tempers, wider Freeways, but narrower viewpoints. We spend more, but have less, we buy more, but enjoy less. We have bigger houses and smaller families, more conveniences, but less time. We have more degrees but less sense, more knowledge, but less judgment, more experts, yet more problems, more medicine, but less wellness. We drink too much, smoke too much, spend too recklessly, laugh too little, drive too fast, get too angry, stay up too late, get up too tired, read too little, watch TV too much, and pray too seldom. We have multiplied our possessions, but reduced our values. We talk too much, love too seldom, and hate too often. We've learned how to make a living, but not a life. We've added years to life not life to years. We've been all the way to the moon and back, but have trouble crossing the street to meet a new neighbor. We conquered outer space but not inner space. We've done larger things, but not better things. We've cleaned up the air, but polluted the soul. We've conquered the atom, but not our prejudice. We write more, but learn less. We plan more, but accomplish less. We've learned to rush, but not to wait. We build more computers to hold more information, to produce more copies than ever, but we communicate less and less. These are the times of fast foods and slow digestion, big men and small character, steep profits and shallow relationships. These are the days of two incomes but more divorce, fancier houses, but broken homes. These are days of quick trips, disposable diapers, throwaway morality, one night stands, overweight bodies, and pills that do everything from cheer, to quiet, to kill. It is a time when there is much in the showroom window and nothing in the stockroom. A time when technology can bring this letter to you, and a time when you can choose either to share this insight, or to just hit delete. Remember to spend some time with your loved ones, because they are not going to be around forever. Remember, say a kind word to someone who looks up to you in awe, because that little person soon will grow up and leave your side. Remember, to give a warm hug to the one next to you, because that is the only treasure you can give with your heart and it doesn't cost a cent. Remember, to say, 'I love you' to your partner and your loved ones, but most of all mean it. A kiss and an embrace will mend hurt when it comes from deep inside of you. Remember to hold hands and cherish the moment for someday that person will not be there again. Give time to love, give time to speak! And give time to share the precious thoughts in your mind. And always remember, life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by those moments that take our breath away. George Carlin

Could this happen here?

When I lived with my father in Germany (59-61), there used to a program on Armed Forces Radio called "Springfield USA".  There would be a story that took place in Springfield USA because at that time, there was a Springfield town in every state in union.  At the end of the stories always ended with "you think this can't happen? It did happen. It happened in..." and they would list place where it did happen. When I saw the following on FaceBook, it not only took me back but it also compelled me to share it here. I hope it will give you just a moment of pause as we start a new year.

December 22, 2012 - “What I am about to tell you is something you’ve probably never heard or read in history books,” she likes to tell audiences.

“I am a witness to history.

“I cannot tell you that Hitler took Austria by tanks and guns; it would distort history.

If you remember the plot of the Sound of Music, the Von Trapp family escaped over the Alps rather than submit to the Nazis. Kitty wasn’t so lucky. Her family chose to stay in her native Austria. She was 10 years old, but bright and aware. And she was watching.

“We elected him by a landslide – 98 percent of the vote,” she recalls.

She wasn’t old enough to vote in 1938 – approaching her 11th birthday. But she remembers.

“Everyone thinks that Hitler just rolled in with his tanks and took Austria by force.”

No so.

Hitler is welcomed to Austria

“In 1938, Austria was in deep Depression. Nearly one-third of our workforce was unemployed. We had 25 percent inflation and 25 percent bank loan interest rates.

Farmers and business people were declaring bankruptcy daily. Young people were going from house to house begging for food. Not that they didn’t want to work; there simply weren’t any jobs.

“My mother was a Christian woman and believed in helping people in need. Every day we cooked a big kettle of soup and baked bread to feed those poor, hungry people – about 30 daily.’

“We looked to our neighbor on the north, Germany, where Hitler had been in power since 1933.” she recalls. “We had been told that they didn’t have unemployment or crime, and they had a high standard of living.

“Nothing was ever said about persecution of any group – Jewish or otherwise. We were led to believe that everyone in Germany was happy. We wanted the same way of life in Austria. We were promised that a vote for Hitler would mean the end of unemployment and help for the family. Hitler also said that businesses would be assisted, and farmers would get their farms back.

“Ninety-eight percent of the population voted to annex Austria to Germany and have Hitler for our ruler.

“We were overjoyed,” remembers Kitty, “and for three days we danced in the streets and had candlelight parades. The new government opened up big field kitchens and
everyone was fed.

“After the election, German officials were appointed, and, like a miracle, we suddenly had law and order. Three or four weeks later, everyone was employed. The government made sure that a lot of work was created through the Public Work Service.

“Hitler decided we should have equal rights for women. Before this, it was a custom that married Austrian women did not work outside the home. An able-bodied husband would be looked down on if he couldn’t support his family. Many women in the teaching profession were elated that they could retain the jobs they previously had been re- quired to give up for marriage.

“Then we lost religious education for kids.

“Our education was nationalized. I attended a very good public school.. The population was predominantly Catholic, so we had religion in our schools. The day we elected Hitler (March 13, 1938), I walked into my schoolroom to find the crucifix replaced by Hitler’s picture hanging next to a Nazi flag. Our teacher, a very devout woman, stood up and told the class we wouldn’t pray or have religion anymore. Instead, we sang ‘Deutschland, Deutschland, Uber Alles,’ and had physical education.

“Sunday became National Youth Day with compulsory attendance. Parents were not pleased about the sudden change in curriculum. They were told that if they did not send us, they would receive a stiff letter of warning the first time. The second time they would be fined the equivalent of $300, and the third time they would be subject to jail.”

And then things got worse.

“The first two hours consisted of political indoctrination. The rest of the day we had sports. As time went along, we loved it. Oh, we had so much fun and got our sports equipment free.

“We would go home and gleefully tell our parents about the wonderful time we had.

“My mother was very unhappy,” remembers Kitty. “When the next term started, she took me out of public school and put me in a convent. I told her she couldn’t do that and she told me that someday when I grew up, I would be grateful. There was a very good curriculum, but hardly any fun – no sports, and no political indoctrination.

“I hated it at first but felt I could tolerate it. Every once in a while, on holidays, I went home. I would go back to my old friends and ask what was going on and what they were doing.

“Their loose lifestyle was very alarming to me. They lived without religion. By that time, unwed mothers were glorified for having a baby for Hitler.

“It seemed strange to me that our society changed so suddenly. As time went along, I realized what a great deed my mother did so that I wasn’t exposed to that kind of humanistic philosophy.

“In 1939, the war started, and a food bank was established. All food was rationed and could only be purchased using food stamps. At the same time, a full-employment law was passed which meant if you didn’t work, you didn’t get a ration card, and, if you didn’t have a card, you starved to death.

“Women who stayed home to raise their families didn’t have any marketable skills and often had to take jobs more suited for men.

“Soon after this, the draft was implemented.

“It was compulsory for young people, male and female, to give one year to the labor corps,” remembers Kitty. “During the day, the girls worked on the farms, and at night they returned to their barracks for military training just like the boys.

“They were trained to be anti-aircraft gunners and participated in the signal corps. After the labor corps, they were not discharged but were used in the front lines.

“When I go back to Austria to visit my family and friends, most of these women are emotional cripples because they just were not equipped to handle the horrors of combat.

“Three months before I turned 18, I was severely injured in an air raid attack. I nearly had a leg amputated, so I was spared having to go into the labor corps and into military service.

“When the mothers had to go out into the work force, the government immediately established child care centers.

“You could take your children ages four weeks old to school age and leave them there around-the-clock, seven days a week, under the total care of the government.

“The state raised a whole generation of children. There were no motherly women to take care of the children, just people highly trained in child psychology. By this time, no one talked about equal rights. We knew we had been had.

“Before Hitler, we had very good medical care. Many American doctors trained at the University of Vienna..

“After Hitler, health care was socialized, free for everyone. Doctors were salaried by the government. The problem was, since it was free, the people were going to the doctors for everything.

“When the good doctor arrived at his office at 8 a.m., 40 people were already waiting and, at the same time, the hospitals were full.

“If you needed elective surgery, you had to wait a year or two for your turn. There was no money for research as it was poured into socialized medicine. Research at the medical schools literally stopped, so the best doctors left Austria and emigrated to other countries.

“As for healthcare, our tax rates went up to 80 percent of our income. Newlyweds immediately received a $1,000 loan from the government to establish a household. We had big programs for families.

“All day care and education were free. High schools were taken over by the government and college tuition was subsidized. Everyone was entitled to free handouts, such as food stamps, clothing, and housing.

“We had another agency designed to monitor business. My brother-in-law owned a restaurant that had square tables.

“Government officials told him he had to replace them with round tables because people might bump themselves on the corners. Then they said he had to have additional bathroom facilities. It was just a small dairy business with a snack bar. He couldn’t meet all the demands.

“Soon, he went out of business. If the government owned the large businesses and not many small ones existed, it could be in control.

“We had consumer protection, too

“We were told how to shop and what to buy. Free enterprise was essentially abolished. We had a planning agency specially designed for farmers. The agents would go to the farms, count the livestock, and then tell the farmers what to produce, and how to produce it.

“In 1944, I was a student teacher in a small village in the Alps. The villagers were surrounded by mountain passes which, in the winter, were closed off with snow, causing people to be isolated.

“So people intermarried and offspring were sometimes retarded. When I arrived, I was told there were 15 mentally retarded adults, but they were all useful and did good manual work.

“I knew one, named Vincent, very well. He was a janitor of the school. One day I looked out the window and saw Vincent and others getting into a van.

“I asked my superior where they were going. She said to an institution where the State Health Department would teach them a trade, and to read and write. The families were required to sign papers with a little clause that they could not visit for 6 months.

“They were told visits would interfere with the program and might cause homesickness.

“As time passed, letters started to dribble back saying these people died a natural, merciful death. The villagers were not fooled. We suspected what was happening. Those people left in excellent physical health and all died within 6 months. We called this euthanasia.

“Next came gun registration. People were getting injured by guns. Hitler said that the real way to catch criminals (we still had a few) was by matching serial numbers on guns. Most citizens were law-abiding and dutifully marched to the police station to register their firearms. Not long afterwards, the police said that it was best for everyone to turn in their guns. The authorities already knew who had them, so it was futile not to comply voluntarily.

“No more freedom of speech. Anyone who said something against the government was taken away. We knew many people who were arrested, not only Jews, but also priests and ministers who spoke up.

“Totalitarianism didn’t come quickly, it took 5 years from 1938 until 1943, to realize full dictatorship in Austria. Had it happened overnight, my countrymen would have fought to the last breath. Instead, we had creeping gradualism. Now, our only weapons were broom handles. The whole idea sounds almost unbelievable that the state, little by little eroded our freedom.”

“This is my eyewitness account.

“It’s true. Those of us who sailed past the Statue of Liberty came to a country of unbelievable freedom and opportunity.

“America is truly is the greatest country in the world. “Don’t let freedom slip away.

“After America, there is no place to go.”

Kitty Werthmann
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5OnW0-HInI

Warlord by Ted Bell
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Hmmmm. This one is tough to review. I liked it but I didn't finish it.

The story starts back in time with the murder of a British royal and then comes up to before Princess Diana dies. There are warnings and fears and intrigue. It is well written and well read.

So why didn't you finish it? Because the news stories before and after the death of the Princess are still too close in my mind. Such a tragedy! I just could not let it that close again.

Now, my husband (the one born in Scotland), he thinks it should get a 4 or 5. He liked it all the way through to the end.

I guess if you can take it as a story of any time and leave recent history alone, if you like good intrigue in your international murder mystery, you should give this one a try.

Silent Mercy by Linda Fairstein
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I love this series and the author and narrator and the characters! I love the primary characters and the voices/accents given them by the narrator!

Prosecutor Alexander Cooper and her crew are interesting characters as they solve crime. In this case, the victims are women who want bigger roles in their respective religions.

Why are they the targets? Who is behind the murders? Why so violent? How many lives will be lost? Will all Alex and her friends be unscathed?

You are going to have to go to your library or bookstore to get the book or audio (really good audio!) to find out, 'cause I'm not spilling the beans!

The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo by Stieg Larsson
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I resisted getting this book for a long, long time. 'don't know why. Heck, the movie was out before I used my audible.com credit on it. To be honest, I can't tell you why I finally caved! I can tell you it was not because of the movie promos!

It's a bit rough in places, as in the scene is makes this one cringe. Still and all, both dh and I made it though in record time and wanted to race back into my Audible.com site and pick of any followups on these people.

O, we did watch the movie. This is one you should listen to or read as too much is left out of the movie. If I hadn't read the book, I think I would have been confused. I am suddenly asking myself if I would have rather read than listened to this book. Conclusion: listen! Great narrator with great book!

Dust and Shadow: An Account of the Ripper Killings by Dr. John H. Watson by Lyndsay Faye
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

We've all heard of Jack the Ripper so we know he left a bloody mess wherever he struck, but fear not, it's not gorier than what you've already heard.

Now think about this: Sherlock vs Jack the Ripper?

How would he work the mystery? It's a grand starter for a story idea and it is well executed! You read or listen! You'll be glad you did!

The Beekeeper's Apprentice by Laurie R. King
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

What fun for Sherlock Holms fans! No Watson in this one; just a young woman who is trainable to be his equal with her quick mind.

I will say no more as you know there is "mystery afoot"!

Stray by Rachel Vincent
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I can't believe I ever hesitated to read Rachel Vincent's works!

I was afraid of gore! Oh, fear not, there is some but it didn't make me want to barf...it was appropriate for the story (but it makes easier reading/listening than it would seeing in a movie). But it is expected there be some. After all, this is a story about werecats!

Faith is the only daughter in the family. Apparently, the females are not as often reproduced as the males. She's a college student until she is recalled home by her father kicking all the way. It seems daughters of werecats are being abducted...one has even shown up brutally murdered.

Is Faith more than a potential victim? Is there a love story? Are there some really good one liners? Is a somewhat typical family story? YES!

It is all great fun and you should give it a try...and if you like to listen to your books, you will enjoy the narrator's work.

View all my reviews

Why they should be allowed to marry

The Second Empress: A Novel of Napoleon's Court by Michelle Moran

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

First, you have to know this is one of my favorite writers so you know I was going to add it to my library and was pretty sure I was going to like it.

I loved it! I learned so much I didn't know about the time, Napoleon, his second empress, and some of his female relations!

I knew nothing about Marie-Louise! She comes across as a very bright, loving person and mother who had to endure a lot from Napoleon (who would have been considered an old man). Her father, King of Austria, really left her no choice in the marriage because not marrying the Napoleon would have put her beloved country into war with France. I don't want to ruin her story for you but I will tell you she and her son out lived him!

I've read of Josephine prior but the bits from her letters and seeing her from the eyes of others.

Ah, and then there is the sister-in-law, Pauline! She's something else! A great beauty of her day who would have herself married to her brother as was done in Egyptian times!

I learned that it was during the Napoleon's comeback that the French abolished slavery. Also a bit about the treatment of social diseases during the time (UCK).

Read this book for the history but also for a really good story!

O, if you like to listen to your books, this is great for there are multiple readers who are each good narrators!

View all my reviews

WORD

Source: sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net via Skip_Conover on Pinterest

I needed this!

a good friend sent me this and i just had to share!   There is a factory in Essex which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Shelley is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 am. The next day at 8:45 am there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production line behind schedule.  The Personnel Manager decides he should see this for himself, so the 2 men march down to the factory floor. When they get there the line is so backed up that there are Tickle Me Elmo's all over the factory floor and they're really beginning to pile up. At the end of the line stands Shelley surrounded by mountains of Tickle Me Elmo's. She has a roll of plush Red fabric and a huge bag of small marbles.  The 2 men watch in amaze-ment as she cuts a little piece of fabric, wraps it around two marbles and begins to carefully sew the little package between Elmo's legs. The Personnel Manager bursts into laughter. After several minutes of hysterics he pulls himself together and approaches Shelley. 'I'm sorry,' he says to her, barely able to keep a straight face, 'but I think you mis- understood the instructions I gave you yesterday...' 'Your job is to give Elmo two test tickles.    If you don't send this to five friends right away, there will be five fewer people laughing in the world!

One man's guide to Scotland

Who thought laughing could be dangerous?!?

What was your 'FIRST TIME' like

DO NOT try to eat or drink while reading the following

Just read this on FaceBook...keep food and liquid out of your mouth while reading.

Like everything in life, farts have a time and place. However, I never realized that in the wrong time and place, flatulence had enough power to alter my course in history.

Well, it can if it's the third date with the man of your dreams. And, if it makes his eyes burn. If God destined us to be together, I was one SBD away from foiling His plans (that's "Silent But Deadly" for you prudes).

It was about five years ago. I was trying to lose a few pounds so I was staying away from carbs. That's when I met my husband, Rob. On our first date, he booked the next two. He liked me. I liked him. Things were looking real good.

He picked me up in a Cobra, Mustang and his pathetic attempt to win me over with a car totally worked. I'm not shallow, but since I spent most of my twenties picking men up because I didn't want my hair to frizz in their non-air conditioned jalopies on 3 wheels and a 15 year old spare, I welcomed his fancy sports car with open arms.

We arrived at the restaurant and Rob was ordering food I hadn't allowed myself to eat in years. I didn't want to be "that girl" so I ate, drank, and oh, was I merry. Later we shopped a bit. Rob surprised me by buying an expensive pair of shoes that he caught me eyeing. Was this love?
That's when it happened. Gas strikes in two different ways - uncontrollable toots or sharp, shooting pains that feel a lot like dying. I thought I was dying. Not to make a scene, I told Rob I suddenly wasn't feeling well and probably needed to head home.

On the way home in his Cobra, he tried to hold my hand and ask me lots of questions, but I wasn't having any of it. The pain was so bad it felt like I was being stabbed with a bunch of tiny forks. Then I realized. My God, help me. I have a horrendous fart on deck. I'm in trouble. Big trouble.

The more I held it in, the more pain would shoot through my stomach and down my legs. I was even having to raise myself off the seat, gripping on to my door and the dashboard.
"Seriously, you need to hurry - I'm in a lot of pain." I managed to say through gritted teeth.
"Wow, it's that bad? What's wrong? Do I need to take you to a hospital?"

How do you tell a man you just started dating that the reason you're writhing in pain is because you have to fart?

Well, you can either tell him, or like me, let the fart speak for itself.

People, hear me. There was nothing I could do. As impressive as I am with sphincter control, this was out of my hands. Slowly, it eked out. The more I tried to stop it, the more it forced its way through the door.

However, to my pleasant surprise, there was no sound. I sat silently; sweat accumulating above my upper lip. Ok, maybe I got away with it. Maybe I'm home free. Then it hit me. Not an idea, a cloud. A horrific, fart cloud. Not in a, "am I smelling something?" sort of way. More like a "is someone dead and rotting in your trunk and am I in hell?" sort of way.

Suddenly, I panicked. "Roll down the windows!" I screamed (yes, I literally screamed it like I was in a horror movie).

"What? Why?" Rob asked, starting to freak out because I was freaking out.

"I can't roll down the windows, unlock it! UNLOCK IT!"

"What's going on?" Rob yells back to me, "Why are you ...." then it hit him. I could see it in his eyes. Was it surprise? Horror? Water started to accumulate at the base of his eyelids, "Oh my God, I CAN TASTE IT!" he screamed.

"Roll down the windows!" As I screamed, the toots started to flood out uncontrollably. I scratched and clawed at the window like I was being kidnapped. Rob, unable to see either by fart cloud or panic, kept turning on the windshield wipers instead of unlocking the window.
It was chaos. We were acting like we were under siege by gun fire. We were under siege alright, just not by gun fire.

Finally he was able to hit the right control and he rolled down our windows. We both gulped in fresh air. I was horrified, yet happy to be alive, then remembered I just farted on the man of dreams, then sorta wished I was dead.

We sat silently for the rest of the way home. Although the shooting pains had subsided, I now desperately needed to use the bathroom, in an urgent, explosive kind of way.
He pulled up to my apartment and before he could come to a stop I had already jumped out, "Ok, thanks for dinner, sorry about the fart, love the shoes!" and ran in to my apartment like I was running from the cops.

I burst through my door and ran straight for the bathroom, where I was finally able to unleash and make noises that no one should ever, EVER, hear coming from another person.
Then I heard it. Rob's voice. Right. Outside. My. Bathroom. Door.

"Anna? You left your shoes in my car and your front door was open. Where do you want me to put them?"

"Get away from the door!" I scream like Reagan from The Exorcist.

"Ok, I'm sorry. Are you okay?"

*toot* *toot* *splatter* *ungodly noise* "I'm fine, Rob - just leave the shoes there. I'll call you later okay?"

"Okay, are you sure you're ...."

"I'm fine! Get away from the door!"

This man! I mean, I love him, but take a freakin' hint!

Finally, I heard the front door shut, and the Cobra engine zoom away. I thought that was the last I'd hear from him. I didn't think it was possible to ever see a man again after he screams he can taste your fart after only knowing you for 48 hours.

But, to my surprise, I did. A couple days later, actually. Now we're married and he's lying on the couch while I type this. "It was your rack that saved you," he just lovingly reminded me.
Well, thank you boobs. You saved us. You saved our destiny.

Ok, this makes me angry!

Georgia Passes "Women As Livestock" Bill. The Georgia House passed a Senate-approved bill Thurs. night that criminalizes abortion after 20 wks. The bill, which does not contain rape or incest exemptions, is expected to receive a signature from Republican Gov. Nathan Deal. According to Rep. England and his warped thought process, if farmers have to "deliver calves, dead or alive," then a woman carrying a dead fetus, or one not expected to survive, should have to carry it to term.

For my knitting friends

Source: twitter.com via Victoria on Pinterest

Sand Sharks by Margaret Maron
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

This was my introduction to Margaret Maron's writing and Deborah Knott Mysteries. What great fun! Deborah is a judge attending a summer conference of district court judges. Things start right off quickly when one of the judges gets murdered. Of course Deborah is in the middle of trying to sort out 'who done it'!

Besides a good mystery, Margaret Maron show me a bit of North Carolina that my 4 nieces probably know more about that I as they were born and raised in North Carolina. I will have to share this with my sister as well as she spent time in that area as well.

Final thought: i you've ever wanted to know what a summer in North Carolina could be like. If you like a really good mystery. If you want to learn more about what things judges might think about...you might enjoy this book as much as I. In fact, I have become of fan of Ms Maron's writing, I will probably been indulging in more of her Deborah Knott Mysteries! I want to not only indulge in some good mysteries but learn more about North Carolina...even more about what the judge will get into next!

Like many of my favorite mystery writers, this book can be read as a stand allow...but DO NOT use it as a 'patient book'...it will make you crazy waiting for another doctor's appointment or voting line, etc to find out what will happen next! Says the voice of experience!

Danny from Scotland makes me laugh!

What happens as he meets the Queen of England!