Wednesday, September 23, 2009

MEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We Can Take It! Spew Alert

This was sent to me from our dear friend, Christopher, in Britain. We really broke up over many of these:

One day my housework challenged husband decided
to wash his Sweatshirt.
Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room,
he shouted to me, 'What setting do I use on the
washing machine?'

'It depends,' I replied..
'What does it say on your shirt?'
He yelled back, ' OHIO STATE ! '
And they say
blonds are dumb....

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------
A couple is lying
in bed
. The man says,

'I am going to make
you the happiest woman in the world.'

The woman replies,
'I'll miss you.........

------------ --------- -------
'It's just too hot to wear clothes today,'
Jack says as he stepped out of the shower, 'honey, what do you think the
neighbors would think if I mowed the lawn like this?'

'Probably that I married you for your money,' she replied.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ----
Q: What do you
call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?

A: A rumor
------------ --------- --------- --------- ----
A man and his wife,
now in their 60's, were celebrating their

40th wedding anniversary. On their special day
a good fairy came to them and said that because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish.
The wife wished for a trip around the world with her husband.
Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands..
The man wished for afemale companion 30 years younger....
Whoosh...immediately he turned

Gotta love that fairy!
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Dear Lord,
I pray for Wisdom to understand my man;
Love to forgive him;
and Patience for his moods.
Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength,
I'll beat him to death.
------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- --------- -------

Q: Why do little boys whine?
A: They are practicing to be

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- --
Q: What do you
call a handcuffed man?

A: Trustworthy.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ------
Q: What does it
mean when a man is in your bed gasping

for breath and calling your name?
A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ---
Q: Why do men whistle when they
are sitting on the toilet?
A: It helps them remember which end to wipe.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ----
Q: How do you
keep your husband from reading your e-mail?

A: Rename the
email folder 'Instruction Manuals'

------------ --------- --------- --------- --------- -
Send this to at least five bright,
funny women you know and make their day! And send this to five
bright men who have enough sense of humor to take it!


Anonymous said...

I have a question. Do you have a Driver's License???
Because you're driving me crazy!!! Hahaha LOL =D
I love the joke about praying for strength. Wish I can have that with my bf sometimes LOL =D

Anonymous said...

I love the jokes so much that I placed a link to this post on the lower right side of my post. Hope it's ok... :)

christine (booktumbling) said...

You are killing me!!! I love the "I'll miss you" and the good fairy!!!